“Oh my god! Why are you so good at this?”
She looked at me with sensual eyes and then within a few seconds, had her face covered in my sperm.
“It’s just experience!”, she said, smiling her carnal smile, taking my breath away. I tried to hush the sting of her words by gazing hungrily at her enchanting body. Even though I was a virgin when i first met her, she wasn’t. I perused her every movement, her every muscle moving rousingly while she wore her clothes.
“I ain’t giving you any more action than that. Better placate that little guy to not wake up.”
She chuckled amusingly and I couldn’t stop myself from being embarrassed. As she walked around the room, trying to find her clothes, I got up and went to the bathroom. I had to wank. As I made my way back to the room, thinking about what to cook for breakfast today I couldn’t contain my surprise when I saw her in my kitchen, whisking away eggs to glory. She caught me beguiled and chuckled again.
“Apart from giving good blowjobs, I can cook too. And I can assure you that I have expertise in both. Though you are well aware of one by now, might as well experience the other.”
“I must have done something worth the reward.”
“Ofcourse. You did jerk off two minutes ago. You must be tired.”
She shot a nasty smile at me with unflinching eyes and destroyed me to the core. I had no other choice, so I gave up and studied her every movement again as she cooked. Through my musings of her movements I still couldn’t conclude anything. Well, even though nothing about them was graceful, rather, the way she moved was extremely audacious, there was a subtle hint of sophistication as well. This always left me in a perplexing dilemma. The more I tried to think about it, the more I felt lost.
I shook off my redundant thoughts and focussed my attention on the plate before, which was, undoubtedly, filled with delectable food. I devoured the scrambled eggs and looking at her, gave he a satisfactory smile. She gave a reassured smile back, which… left me absolutely astonished. What was that smile? That was the first time I had seen it. It lingered for so long in my head. I was so stunned by the fact that she could smile like that. But, it surprises me more to think that it was reaction to my praise for her food. Well, she is a woman after all.
I cleaned the dishes and went in to take a shower while she sat on the dining table, glued to the Macbook, reading and replying to mails, maybe. Her typing skills are far superior than mine though. As I entered the washroom, I felt like not taking a shower at all. I could smell her on me, a powerful yet soothing smell. I felt perplexed by it again. She is such a conundrum. So, I stood under the shower with my face facing the falling water. I wondered whether she was always this enigmatic or something changed her. Somethings maybe. I looked in the mirror as showed up behind me.
“I am taking the day off.”
“Oh, why is that?”
“Well, I need to sort out a few personal things. I will be late while coming back home.”
“Wait! But I thought you weren’t going to work today.”
“Yes, I am not.”
“Where are you going?”
She shot an irritated look at me and then shrugged away. That really annoyed me as well. Don’t I have a right to know these things. I felt enraged, so I quickly dressed up and left for work without confronting her about it. As I drove to work, every negative thought passed my head. What could be wrong with her? Something at work? But she said it was personal. What could be so personal? Could someone at work be harassing her? Blackmailing her? Maybe they would make her pay using her body! I mean, she is a woman who is unabashed and men don’t like that now do they?
“Good Morning Sir!”
“Good Morning. I need coffee. QUICKLY.”
I threw my bag away somewhere and sat on my office chair, trying to calm myself. Coffee should do it. I looked out of the skyline of the city from the vast stretch of glass pane behind me. What are you upto now?
“Sir, your coffee.”
I sipped my ultra black coffee, trying to let it seep in my senses. For a moment, a sadness prevailed around me. She doesn’t trust me at all. Do I mean anything to her at all? She did make our breakfast today for the very first time. I was so happy about it. Though, cooking food together with her would make me feel happier. That is how I want to live with her. I wish she would speak her heart to me someday as well. Would she? I am seriously in love with her, amn’t I.
“You have a meeting in five minutes wit the board of directors.”
I don’t feel like facing the sinister old men right now. Can’t help it though. I wonder if she has such selfish men working with her as well. She does know how to tackle such people better than me. She is extremely particular herself when it comes down to work. She is an outstanding professional. No wonder she is successful. I wonder what would she choose if she had to between me and work. I am guessing it’s her work.
It’s 11:30, where is she? I can’t reach her on phone. Nor is she reading her messages. She did take a leave from work also. I confirmed it. None of her friends know anything about it either. What do I do? I can’t just leave it be! What if she is in some danger? I feel so sure that something from work has to do with it! Men can be extremely cynical these days. But…she would tell me if something like that would happen wouldn’t she? She is not stupid enough ti think that she can fight such things on her own!…maybe…hopefully.
I opened the refrigerator and opened myself a beer. She hates beer doesn’t she? Oh good God, WHERE IS SHE? The doorbell rang and I immediately ran to open the door, expecting her to be back. I hadn’t realised that it was raining outside and as I opened the door, she came in, looking away, completely drenched.
“Where have you been? What’s wrong with you?”
She did not speak a word and walked towards the washroom. I felt like a mess. So many conflicting impulses. Even though I was relieved that she was back here, safe and within my reach, was she really within my reach? Do I even know her? Who is she? Why are we together? Are we really together? What is this relationship? I feel back in the sofa, exhausted. She walked in and sat beside in the sofa, very familiarly and switched on the television.
“They better be showing a good movie on some channel!”
I looked at her in disbelief. My body shook with anxiety. I wanted her to look in my eyes and tell me everything. Absolutely everything. Where she was. What had she been doing. Who was she with. What did she think about me. What about our relationship. Was she really my wife. Or was this all just some sort of a game for her. Who took away her virginity. How many men had she slept with. How many so called lovers did she have. Why is she so ambitious. Why wouldn’t she rely on me…Why…Why…
“I didn’t think that I mattered so much to you as to make you cry.”
I felt paralysed by her words. I looked at her, weeping away miserly. She looked at me, with distress in her eyes. And then, she smiled. My heart skipped a beat at her smile. This was the second time I had seen that smile today. That made me cry even more. I felt pain and relief at the same time. I moved my trembling hand towards her and gently stroked her hair. As gently as possible. Her breathing slowed down and I could see a subtle joy on her face.
“I am sorry. I am very pathetic husband.”
“No. You are simply a very stupid and endearing husband.”
“Did I hear stupid?”
“Yes you did.”
We laughed for some time together, in each other’s arms. She nestled happily in my arms as I held her, cherishing her presence close to me.
“Do you want to know where I went today?”, she asked softly.
“I definitely do.”
She sighed and after a small pause said, “I went to visit mom’s grave today. I always go there to seek answers to questions that I myself can’t find. But today, mom did not help me. She did not give me any hints at all. It really irritated me. But after thinking for sometime, I finally realised what her silence was indicating to.”
“And? What was it indicating to?”
“Yes, you. Because I have been alone till now, playing around with my emotions, trying to find solace in thwarting them, mom was my only link to the realm of sentiments. But now, I have you too. I need to rely on you as well I guess. Though it would be bothersome for you, I wonder if that is the right way to do it.”
“Haha…Yes, yes. I am grateful to you. You give me so much space to be me at the cost of your own emotions. I was always scared about this. About hurting my man because of my selfishness. But this is how it is and now that you are stuck with me and I am planning to use you completely for my benefit, I might as well tell you more about me, so that you never cry again.”
She looked up at me, her eyes asking me to ask her all the questions and resolve all my doubts.
“I thought that someone at work was harassing you and was blackmailing you or something…”
“You only blame my work don’t you.”
That hit me with a very painful realisation. She was right. All the negative things in my head had to do with her work. Not that I hate her work or anything. But then why did it turn out this way?
“Hmm…But I don’t have any personal issues with your work, Rather you have been an inspiration to me too. I really have no idea why I blame your work really.”
“I wouldn’t blame you actually. It just what society conditions you to think. Don’t blame yourself. You inspire me too.” She said the last line with a smile that really shattered all my doubts.
“Well…may I know when and how you lost your virginity. And with who…”
“Ahaa. I saw that coming.”
“Hahaha. Of course, you have all the right to know. Well about my virginity. I lost my virginity to my husband.”
“Oh I see…Wait! You mean me? Or did you have a husband before me too!”
She laughed for a long time though I really did not know what to decipher out of it.
“You are my one and only husband.”
“I lied to everyone about my virginity. It was easier to shoo away men that way. No men really likes to settle down with a woman who had her cherry popped by some other jerk. It was only you. You are very amusing you know.”
“I feel very relieved yet cheated right now. You beguile me.”
“You beguile me too.”
“I am at a loss of words….”
“I hope you haven’t lost your appetite though. Hungry? Let’s continue this over food?”
“Yes. That’s a really good idea. Umm…”
“Can we cook something together?”
“Why not. You weren’t expecting me to do the all the cooking alone now were you?”
She shot her usual nasty smile at me again but her eyes looked different. They looked more cheerful. I was surprised at how well we worked together in the kitchen. She seemed a bit surprised too. I guess maybe we both had wanted to this together for a long time. We sat on the dining table together and ate while she told me about her past life. I felt proud of her past achievements and the fact that she had tackled so many problems in her life alone and unfazed. While listening to her talk I was suddenly reminded…
“Oh! You never told me what was troubling you so much that you had to visit your mother’s grave for it!”
“Oh right. I am pregnant.”
“Oh you are preg….WHAT? YOU ARE PREGNANT.”
“BUT….But… Why did;t you tell me earlier?”
“Well it wasn’t confirmed. I dropped by the hospital to pick up the report. It could have gone both ways. If it wasn’t positive, I was thinking of surprising you at work and stealing you away for a long drive today. But because it turned out to be positive, I really didn’t know what to do about it, so I ran to mom’s grave instead. After that, I loitered around here and there, trying to figure out hat to do.”
I was numb. Too much had happened all at once. She looked at me, worriedly, so I tried to look fine but it didn’t work. Is this all a dream? So I slapped myself, trying to wake myself up from this dream, but it really was the reality. She started laughing rowdily at me and I felt extremely helpless.
“That’s fucking rude.”
“Is it really?” she said while wiping away her tears of joy.
“I LOVE YOU.”
“I LOVE YOU TOO.”